God is up to something

I am overwhelmed. Completely and thoroughly overwhelmed by all that God is doing in my life. I never thought I'd be the girl who had potential to do something big for God. I never thought it was going to be me. My whole life I've bought into the lies of the enemy that I'm not good enough or strong enough or talented enough to be used greatly by God. I've been through so many changes in my life. I've been to the pit of brokenness and back. But this year topped it all. It has been the biggest battle of my life. It's been a good hard fight. It was time to get serious or accept defeat. So I got serious: I chose Jesus.

I remember one night I said to Him, "Lord, I don't want to be carnal Christian. I want to be one of the people that answers to your calling, that lives the life You have for me, that gives everything up to serve you, and so Lord, I am Yours."

Let me tell you, He sure has taken me up on it! The things He is teaching me, WOW! He is transforming my life, my ways, my behaviour, my attitude, and my thoughts. He's absolutely tearing me apart and putting me back together in a way that will glorify Him. He has been fervently teaching me to walk in the fruits of the Spirit, teaching me about prayer, and truly helping me to understand His word. He is teaching me the BE a Christian in mind, body, soul, and Spirit. He is breaking the walls, barriers, bondages, doubts, and fears, and replacing it with His reassurance and goodness and passion.

It is a beautiful process I am being taken through. And I'm still going through it. I still have tons to learn. It takes time to break bad habits and develop new good habits. But the change so far is evident. I see it. My parents see it. People see it. This weekend a bunch of ladies at my church retreat told me I have an amazing testimony, and I was like "what? me? I have a testimony?" I never thought of my life as a testimony. I've seen so many people giving their testimonies up on stage at church and always thought "I'll never have something special like that that can stir people up and touch their hearts." But this weekend I was shown that I was wrong. That that was also lie from the enemy.

There are no words to explain my thanks to God, for all that He is doing, and for the time He is taking to shape me and mold me into the person He desires me to be. All I could do that I know of is to continue loving Him and telling people about Him.

I am not the same person I was even a week ago.