Intimate

I’ve come to love You as one would love their husband. This relationship feels as real if not more real than any relationship I have with anyone. You’ve become my other half, my best friend, my king, my love, my everything. You’ve swept me off my feet time and time again. Every time You whisper sweet thoughts in my ear I melt inside… Our dates every night in my room over tea are so simple but they mean everything to me. Talking to you completes my day and feeling you smile along with my silly rambles makes me come alive. I know You’re as pleased about us as I am. I feel Your joy when You’re around me. I can sense that You’re happy with me… and Lord, I’m so happy with You. This world, when I look at it in comparison to You, is absolutely nothing. No temporary pleasure can even compare. Your love is permanent, not some cheap thrill. You’re the most real thing I’ve ever known. I love you, God. I love you.

From filth to glory

I question my self, Lord, because I know in my depths of my heart and soul, You are all I want. If I had nothing else but You, I’d be happy. if You decided to scrap every plan I ever had for my life, I’d be ready to do Your work. You have my heart, You are my life. I desire You most. I love You most. I yearn for You more than anything else. But then…there come times when I choose my fleshly desires over You.

It confuses me how I could sin against the One I love with every fibre of my being. It makes me angry with myself that I claim to love You, then turn around and partake in the very things You despise. But I can’t help it. I’m so weak. I try to resist, and sometimes I succeed, but sometimes I fail… and sometimes it’s a lot of times.

But despite my actions, I know in the core of my spirit that You love me still. I will never run from You like I used to when I didn’t understand Your grace. It just bothers me that I am so human. I want to be more holy, I want to be more like You, but I’m held back by my humanity… And though your Spirit works in me and transforms me and helps me conquer sins and wrong attitudes, there is still that part of me that will always desire to give in to my flesh.

But despite everything, my King, I love You with all of me. I want more of You, more of Your presence. And, Lord, whenever You extend mercy to me, I fall so much deeper in love with You. You even use my sin to somehow make our relationship stronger. That’s how good You are. You take my filth, turn it into beauty, and then use it all to bring the glory back to Your name. You are magnificent and holy and to be adored. I love You so much.

Too

I come to you again, broken and ashamed
I’m forever amazed by Your grace
I don’t think it’ll ever be easy to grasp
The way You love me is beautiful
How You softly pour Your love onto me
By gently speaking kind words in my ear
My heart pounds in my chest—overwhelmed by You
Tears stain my eyes when You bless me with Your presence
Take my heart, Lord, and keep it for Yourself
I am Yours, my beloved
And I love You too