Always will be

Making You my eveything has resulted in the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. I feel You with me everywhere I go and I know you’re as happy about this as I am. You’ve changed me completely…I’m a better person when I’m with You. I want to be in Your presence every minute of the day and it’s easier to resist temptations simply by keeping myself near to you. From everything that’s happened to me this past week I realize I’m starting to know what real love is all about. I’m Yours, Lord. I always will be.

You are with me

When the sun is radiant and warm
And Your blessings pour over me
As the birds sing of Your holiness
And the flowers bloom with Your glory
Through the loveliness of the day
I will know You are with me

When the violent storms hit
And the waves are crashing in
As the sharks swim out to harm me
Your shield of protection will surround me
Through the struggle and the pain
I know my prayer is not in vain
And my God, I will know You are with me

For in all days and all seasons
And whatever comes my way
You never leave me nor forsake me
I can feel Your hand upon me
Guiding me into Your peace
Under Your wings You hide me
Safe from all danger You keep me
Into Your presence You lead me
As you refine me through fire
I will know You are with me

My God, You are always with me

My affections for God

Things that stir my affections for Jesus. These are things that when I do, hear, and/or partake in them, they widen my appreciation and love for God.

• Worship
• Prayer
• His presence
• Connecting with people
• Listening to a crowded room worship God
• Comfy blankets & perfect pillows
• The knowledge that Jesus loves me
• Speaking about Him
• People when they're vulnerable
• Coffee when I'm exhausted
• My puppy's joy dance when I get home
• Photography
• Creativity
• Puffy clouds
• Autumn
• Long heartfelt hugs
• People confiding in me
• Listening to sermons
• A good night of sleep
• Nature
• Animals

Things that rob my affections for Jesus. These are things that when I do, hear, and/or partake in them they hinder my relationship with God.

• Sin
• Watching television
• Worldly music
• Gossip
• Curse words
• Negative thoughts
• Choosing stuff over God
• Dwelling on negatives
• Not spending time with Him
• Mushrooms (lol jk)
• Trying to solve my own problems
• Worry and doubt
• Fear

There's much more than this, but these are all I could think of right now and they have recently been the main things that either edify or hinder me. Also, the idea to write this was inspired by Matt Chandler in this sermon in which he speaks about it "disciplined delights" at 35:15 minutes if you want to fast-forward it to watch that one part and understand better what he means.

God is bigger than your failure.

So you failed. You failed hard. You failed really hard. You are currently the worst you've ever been. You've strayed away from the you everyone knows, and became what you believe to be some kind of monster version of yourself. You lie, you cheat, you have so much anger and you act on it, you are involved in so much sin, you haven't spoken to God in at least a month.You're just out of control.

Yet all your family, all your friends, they have no idea. So they treat you like you're the best person in the world. They even come to you for advice. And deep down inside you hate yourself and you feel fake but you can't come clean because you cannot risk being judged by people you love. You want them to think good of you. You know you're good deep down, but you're just going through some messed up stuff right now.

You feel ashamed and guilty, you feel dirty. You feel like a mess. You want to talk to God, you want to be back in relationship with God but you don't even know how to get there anymore. You used to be doing so well, you and God were so close and you were so sensitive to his presence and his love. But now, you think "how do I even approach Him knowing what I've done?"

Well, I'm here to tell you that there is no condemnation for those who know Jesus. It says so right here in Romans 8 1-2:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.

I'll break that down for you. There is no judgement for those who have salvation in Jesus. Before Jesus came and died for us, we were under the curse of the law which we see in the Old Testament which basically went like this: if you sinned, you'd have to sacrifice one of your best lambs and then ask for forgiveness and only then would God forgive you.

But then Jesus came in the picture and because He lived a perfect sinless life, he was the ultimate sacrifice that could ever be made on our behalf. He was perfect and innocent, and He took the fall for us, died a criminal's death....for us... And now because of that ANYTHING you do is paid for before God's eyes. You cannot be condemned for your sins, because Jesus already paid for them.

So even though you're ashamed of yourself and you see yourself as horrible, filthy, dirty... GOD sees you as perfect, blameless, spotless, clean, beautiful, and He absolutely adores you. And all he wants is for you to come back to Him so he could love on you and help you overcome all your fears and insecurities.

We run away from people who we think will judge us and not want us. That is not God. God is chasing after you begging you to just stop and turn to Him so he can show you that He doesn't want to judge you or condemn you, or hurt you, but to simply and wholeheartedly love you.

If you're in a mess, and you feel like you're in too deep. I can promise you that it's not too deep for God. He's already waiting, and the second you open your heart to Him, he's gonna be there with his hand out stretched waiting for you take it so he can guide you back on the right path.

Lighthouse

I am not afraid anymore. I am not full of shame and guilt anymore. I have given that all up to You and you have gladly taken it from me. You took away my burdens that you already paid for on the cross. You've washed me of my sins and given me a clean slate. You have declared me yours. Therefore I am Yours, I give myself to you. I surrender my life to you...everything. I have tried living life my way. My way never worked, my way led me to dark places. But you were gracious enough to take me by the hand and walk me out of the darkness. You sanctified me, and replaced all the darkness in me with your light, and you wrapped me in the comfort of your love. You are in me and you made me whole.

Now it is my turn. With the shining light you have instilled in me, I will walk back into the darkness, only this time to reach out to others once like me. I will pull them out of the darkness and lead them to you... I will tell them of what you have done for me. I will testify of your grace, of your forgiveness. I will be a living display of your love.