Always will be

Making You my eveything has resulted in the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. I feel You with me everywhere I go and I know you’re as happy about this as I am. You’ve changed me completely…I’m a better person when I’m with You. I want to be in Your presence every minute of the day and it’s easier to resist temptations simply by keeping myself near to you. From everything that’s happened to me this past week I realize I’m starting to know what real love is all about. I’m Yours, Lord. I always will be.

Tea time with God

My favourite thing to do is make delicious tea, sit on the floor in my room, dim all the lights, play worship music and just spend time with God. I try to go in with no intentions. I just start singing to Him and He guides it from then on. When I try to plan it, it doesn't feel right. But when I come into His presence with zero expectations, simply to meet Him there—He never fails to come.

Even though I cannot see Him physically, I still treat our meetings as though I could. That's why I love making tea while I do it, because it's something I'd do while spending time catching up with any of my friends.

I find that treating God as a real friend, and starting to do casual things with Him has really brought our relationship to a new level of intimacy. I still see Him as the sovereign mighty God of the universe, but he's also my best friend who has tea with me on my messy bedroom floor.

Dear future husband,

If there's one piece of advice I'd give you, it would be this: don't be in a rush to find me. Yes, I too am very eager and excited to meet you, but I believe God has things for us to work out in our own lives before He brings us together.

Before we can be good together, we have to be good with God and God alone. Him alone should be enough for us, enough for our heart, spirit, and soul. We must not long or thirst for anything other than Jesus. What I want for both of us is for us to enter a level of intimacy with our beloved Jesus that no matter who or what comes into our lives, it will never take the place of Him. I don't want to complete you. I want God to complete you. I want God to fulfil you and validate you. I cannot do that for you, and I don't expect you to do it for me either. We will have our roles to play for each other, but validating each other is not one of them. That is a space only the Holy Spirit can fill. So let Him fill it.

I want you to know that I hope and pray every day that you seek Him above all else. I pray that you look to God for strength to overcome the struggles you go through, and that you turn to Him and never from Him. I fervently pray that the Holy Spirit mold you into the man of God that He desires you to be. I also pray all the time that I will be able to give you the things you need and love you in a way you will feel it and know it with complete confidence.

I do not know who you are yet, or where you are, or when we will be brought together, but I am not worried. I trust that whoever you are and wherever you are, God will bring us into each others lives in His perfect timing. Seek Him, and love Him. I will do the same. And I believe that when God sees we are good and ready, He will allow us to meet.

With loving affection,
Your future wife

My affections for God

Things that stir my affections for Jesus. These are things that when I do, hear, and/or partake in them, they widen my appreciation and love for God.

• Worship
• Prayer
• His presence
• Connecting with people
• Listening to a crowded room worship God
• Comfy blankets & perfect pillows
• The knowledge that Jesus loves me
• Speaking about Him
• People when they're vulnerable
• Coffee when I'm exhausted
• My puppy's joy dance when I get home
• Photography
• Creativity
• Puffy clouds
• Autumn
• Long heartfelt hugs
• People confiding in me
• Listening to sermons
• A good night of sleep
• Nature
• Animals

Things that rob my affections for Jesus. These are things that when I do, hear, and/or partake in them they hinder my relationship with God.

• Sin
• Watching television
• Worldly music
• Gossip
• Curse words
• Negative thoughts
• Choosing stuff over God
• Dwelling on negatives
• Not spending time with Him
• Mushrooms (lol jk)
• Trying to solve my own problems
• Worry and doubt
• Fear

There's much more than this, but these are all I could think of right now and they have recently been the main things that either edify or hinder me. Also, the idea to write this was inspired by Matt Chandler in this sermon in which he speaks about it "disciplined delights" at 35:15 minutes if you want to fast-forward it to watch that one part and understand better what he means.

The glory of His presence.

It makes me wonder, if people truly felt God, would it not change them? Would it not transform their hearts and mind? Would it not cause them to believe?

When I am in need concerning anything, I must only call him name and He is there. I am convinced that if people felt Him, felt the warmth of his presence, the tingling sensation running up and down their whole body, peace washing over them, and the utter contentment knowing He is there, that they would not be able to deny Him.

I do not believe in a dead God. My God is alive, and he listens, and he comforts. He is always there. I am not walking this life alone. In spirit, He is with me always. It is not something us Christians say as a metaphor. When we say He is there with us, it is real, so very real, and nothing feels better than to sit in His presence and acknowledge that the God of the universe is right there, sitting on the floor with me in my messy room. He cares not what I've done or will do, he cares not about my social status, the clothes I wear, the size I am, or the qualifications I have. He only wants me, all of me, as I am. He made me in the first place, and I am perfect to Him.

Have you ever been in love? Where all you do is think of that person and all the good things you want to do for them? How you want them to feel special and really know that they are loved? Like you'd do anything to be there for them at any time and any where and the worst thing in the world is watching them struggle and not letting you help them.

That is what God feels for us, but even stronger. Stronger than we could ever imagine. And in those moments on the floor in my messy room when He is there with me, I feel exactly that. I feel how much He loves me. It is undeniable. It's in those moments where I know that no matter what happens in my life, I want basque in the glory of His presence for the rest of my life.

I love Him.

Love loves

Love is not something that ends. It just doesn’t. If you truly love someone, it never goes away. Even when they’ve moved on to new relationships, you still love them. Even if they push you away, you love them. When they reject you, you still love them.

All that because when you love someone, you have to learn how to love them right, how they need you to love them. Love is about being there in any and every way that person needs you. It is not dependent on what you receive in return. Love simply loves, period.

I mean, that's how God is with us, isn't it? So shouldn't that be how we are with others?