Everything I ever needed

Whenever we spend time together, I fall more in love
You let me talk about silly things and you don’t get freaked out
when I randomly burst into a river of tears
My King, you’re such a gentleman in all your ways
You treat me like a lady and call me sweet names
When I sing, you think I sound beautiful even when I don’t

You never forget to remind me who I am
That in your eyes I am beautiful, lovely and desirable
And the fact that you think so is causing me to believe it too
You’ve changed me and the way I think about myself
You’ve changed my outlook on people and the world
Every day I feel myself becoming a little more like You

Every day you tell me of your everlasting love for me
How there’d be nothing I can do to ever sway your affections
You’re everything I always needed but never expected to get
You are my Beloved, there’s none other I’d have but You
Forget everything else, Lord, I just want You
How could I not? For the perfection that You are

Who could reject You after knowing a love like this?
I’ll spend forever with you, Christ Jesus
I will gladly follow You where ever you go
For You are my King—my Saviour
And I love You with all my soul

Depending on God

Despite the fact that King David was a man and a king, I find that I really relate to him so much right now. Like, when I read about him and the things he wrote… I just completely get him. It feels like he is describing my life.

This past Sunday my pastor even preached about him, and he pointed out that King David was a man who was entirely dependent on God. He relied on God and loved God since he was a boy, through good times, through the bad times and even as an old man… So David loved God and stuck with God all his life. He was a man after God’s heart. And even when he sinned in unthinkable ways, he STILL pursued God through his shame and guilt and pleaded with God to forgive him and not take the Holy Spirit—God’s presence—away from him… And so because of the sincerity of David’s heart, God forgave him. (Psalm 51)

So it makes me think, that even when I sin against God, I shouldn’t ever run away from God in shame, but run to God in repentance. I must depend on God through EV-ER-Y-THING.

This sounds like simple stuff, but how many times do we actually remember to run to God in repentance instead of away from him in shame?

Dear future husband,

If there's one piece of advice I'd give you, it would be this: don't be in a rush to find me. Yes, I too am very eager and excited to meet you, but I believe God has things for us to work out in our own lives before He brings us together.

Before we can be good together, we have to be good with God and God alone. Him alone should be enough for us, enough for our heart, spirit, and soul. We must not long or thirst for anything other than Jesus. What I want for both of us is for us to enter a level of intimacy with our beloved Jesus that no matter who or what comes into our lives, it will never take the place of Him. I don't want to complete you. I want God to complete you. I want God to fulfil you and validate you. I cannot do that for you, and I don't expect you to do it for me either. We will have our roles to play for each other, but validating each other is not one of them. That is a space only the Holy Spirit can fill. So let Him fill it.

I want you to know that I hope and pray every day that you seek Him above all else. I pray that you look to God for strength to overcome the struggles you go through, and that you turn to Him and never from Him. I fervently pray that the Holy Spirit mold you into the man of God that He desires you to be. I also pray all the time that I will be able to give you the things you need and love you in a way you will feel it and know it with complete confidence.

I do not know who you are yet, or where you are, or when we will be brought together, but I am not worried. I trust that whoever you are and wherever you are, God will bring us into each others lives in His perfect timing. Seek Him, and love Him. I will do the same. And I believe that when God sees we are good and ready, He will allow us to meet.

With loving affection,
Your future wife

The glory of His presence.

It makes me wonder, if people truly felt God, would it not change them? Would it not transform their hearts and mind? Would it not cause them to believe?

When I am in need concerning anything, I must only call him name and He is there. I am convinced that if people felt Him, felt the warmth of his presence, the tingling sensation running up and down their whole body, peace washing over them, and the utter contentment knowing He is there, that they would not be able to deny Him.

I do not believe in a dead God. My God is alive, and he listens, and he comforts. He is always there. I am not walking this life alone. In spirit, He is with me always. It is not something us Christians say as a metaphor. When we say He is there with us, it is real, so very real, and nothing feels better than to sit in His presence and acknowledge that the God of the universe is right there, sitting on the floor with me in my messy room. He cares not what I've done or will do, he cares not about my social status, the clothes I wear, the size I am, or the qualifications I have. He only wants me, all of me, as I am. He made me in the first place, and I am perfect to Him.

Have you ever been in love? Where all you do is think of that person and all the good things you want to do for them? How you want them to feel special and really know that they are loved? Like you'd do anything to be there for them at any time and any where and the worst thing in the world is watching them struggle and not letting you help them.

That is what God feels for us, but even stronger. Stronger than we could ever imagine. And in those moments on the floor in my messy room when He is there with me, I feel exactly that. I feel how much He loves me. It is undeniable. It's in those moments where I know that no matter what happens in my life, I want basque in the glory of His presence for the rest of my life.

I love Him.

Important

In those times where thoughts like 'you're not good enough' or 'you keep failing' come to your mind. When you tell yourself you aren't worth of God's love, and when you're embarrassed or disgusted or ashamed of your actions... It is important to remember that God knew you were going to stumble. He already knew you were going to fail. Repeatedly. He knew you were going to hurt that person, or look at things you shouldn't, or tell lies just to edify yourself, or cheat on your loved one, etc. He has always known your downfalls and He knows you will always have downfalls. He knew he was going to hear the same prayer over and over again asking for His forgiveness about the same thing all the time.

And He still loves you. He still wants you. He still wants to help you and work through it with you. He still died for you, knowing how much you were going to mess up and disobey him. You're not surprising God with your sin. He expects that because He knows it's inevitable. That's why God sent his perfect and sinless son to come and carry the burden and punishment for us. So that we won't have to. So that it's paid for. Because He loves us.

Don't ever let your sin get between you and God, or make you feel so guilty that you're too ashamed to even pray. He's not judging you, all he wants is for you to trust in His love for you so that you will come to Him, even when it's hard for you.

Despite all that we do. He loves us. It's very important to remember that.

Love loves

Love is not something that ends. It just doesn’t. If you truly love someone, it never goes away. Even when they’ve moved on to new relationships, you still love them. Even if they push you away, you love them. When they reject you, you still love them.

All that because when you love someone, you have to learn how to love them right, how they need you to love them. Love is about being there in any and every way that person needs you. It is not dependent on what you receive in return. Love simply loves, period.

I mean, that's how God is with us, isn't it? So shouldn't that be how we are with others?

opinions

It's not with everybody that I become an open book. I like to choose wisely with whom I share my deepest thoughts and feelings and opinions. I don't believe it necessary that everyone know who I am and what I think.