Standing up for God

I’m silly and I’m weird and I love to have fun and laugh until my cheeks ache. Yeah, sure, sometimes I go overboard. Sometimes people think I’m crazy or annoying, but it doesn’t really matter…because it’s blissful. It’s a temporary state of happiness that I get into when I’m surrounded by amazing people I love. I get high on my own love for people, that’s what it is. People think it’s crazy and they don’t understand it but that’s okay because it’s temporary. I love it. I thrive in the presence of people, I enjoy the company of people and forgive me if I get happy and excited when I’m with them.

But despite all that, I am also incredibly passionate about being serious when I need to be. Like when it comes to Godly things—I am dead serious. I will stand up for Jesus and defend His honour no matter what you say about me. I won’t even budge. I won’t care what You say because I am so sure of Him and His sovereignty that He’s too important to let any person sway my devotion to Him. I actually love that about myself. How I can be silly and passive towards people’s judgements and just have fun without letting it bother me, but the second you touch my God, I will not have it. I’ll be the one to speak up and tell you you’re wrong. I’ll be the one that stands up for Godly things that the world considers hateful. I will be “that” person that you don’t wanna hear.

I will risk being called a freak, or an extremist. Because it means nothing to me. Because at the end of the day I will sit on the floor in my room to meet with God like every other night, and when He comes He will tell me He is proud of me and He will reassure me of His love and power and glory. And that assurance alone makes everything worth it. It melts my heart. It brings tears to my eyes. It fills my heart with an overflowing love and bubbly joy that is irreplaceable. Being liked by people can never give me the same satisfaction as being loved by my Creator does. So if I had to choose between pleasing people or God, you better believe I’m going to choose God in a heartbeat.

I love Him, and His opinion of me matters. Not anyone else’s.

Like You

Tears fall down my cheeks
As I ponder Your glory
A perfect life, a genuine smile
Holiness Himself took upon my filth

You offered Your life
In place for mine
All for love, you rescued me
Now I will live for You

Tune my heartbeat to Yours, Lord
And train my eyes to see like Yours
Use my lips, Lord, to speak Your words
Make me like you, Jesus
I want to be like You

All of me for You

Take my life and every part of it, Lord
I'm not holding back, you can have it all
It's not even hard for me as it once was
I've fallen so deeply in love with You
That my heart is already Yours
Now I ask that you please take the rest

No matter what comes at us, Lord
It's not a worry anymore
Because I know that our love is lasting
You've taken me and You've fixed me
We've built our relationship out from brokenness
We've journeyed long and hard
I know we're unbreakable and inseperable
Nothing can snatch me from your grip

My God, I know I will be safe under Your protection
All the days of my life, You'll be holding my hand
No matter what comes, You never fail to be there
Through trials and temptations, You offer me an escape
When I am joyful, You take delight in my laughter

My Beloved, Your glory takes my breath away
Your presence is overwhelming
Your holiness humbles me before You
All I want is to be closer to You
And walk with You in obedience
Fighting the good fight of faith

Everything I ever needed

Whenever we spend time together, I fall more in love
You let me talk about silly things and you don’t get freaked out
when I randomly burst into a river of tears
My King, you’re such a gentleman in all your ways
You treat me like a lady and call me sweet names
When I sing, you think I sound beautiful even when I don’t

You never forget to remind me who I am
That in your eyes I am beautiful, lovely and desirable
And the fact that you think so is causing me to believe it too
You’ve changed me and the way I think about myself
You’ve changed my outlook on people and the world
Every day I feel myself becoming a little more like You

Every day you tell me of your everlasting love for me
How there’d be nothing I can do to ever sway your affections
You’re everything I always needed but never expected to get
You are my Beloved, there’s none other I’d have but You
Forget everything else, Lord, I just want You
How could I not? For the perfection that You are

Who could reject You after knowing a love like this?
I’ll spend forever with you, Christ Jesus
I will gladly follow You where ever you go
For You are my King—my Saviour
And I love You with all my soul

Tea time with God

My favourite thing to do is make delicious tea, sit on the floor in my room, dim all the lights, play worship music and just spend time with God. I try to go in with no intentions. I just start singing to Him and He guides it from then on. When I try to plan it, it doesn't feel right. But when I come into His presence with zero expectations, simply to meet Him there—He never fails to come.

Even though I cannot see Him physically, I still treat our meetings as though I could. That's why I love making tea while I do it, because it's something I'd do while spending time catching up with any of my friends.

I find that treating God as a real friend, and starting to do casual things with Him has really brought our relationship to a new level of intimacy. I still see Him as the sovereign mighty God of the universe, but he's also my best friend who has tea with me on my messy bedroom floor.

Depending on God

Despite the fact that King David was a man and a king, I find that I really relate to him so much right now. Like, when I read about him and the things he wrote… I just completely get him. It feels like he is describing my life.

This past Sunday my pastor even preached about him, and he pointed out that King David was a man who was entirely dependent on God. He relied on God and loved God since he was a boy, through good times, through the bad times and even as an old man… So David loved God and stuck with God all his life. He was a man after God’s heart. And even when he sinned in unthinkable ways, he STILL pursued God through his shame and guilt and pleaded with God to forgive him and not take the Holy Spirit—God’s presence—away from him… And so because of the sincerity of David’s heart, God forgave him. (Psalm 51)

So it makes me think, that even when I sin against God, I shouldn’t ever run away from God in shame, but run to God in repentance. I must depend on God through EV-ER-Y-THING.

This sounds like simple stuff, but how many times do we actually remember to run to God in repentance instead of away from him in shame?

You are with me

When the sun is radiant and warm
And Your blessings pour over me
As the birds sing of Your holiness
And the flowers bloom with Your glory
Through the loveliness of the day
I will know You are with me

When the violent storms hit
And the waves are crashing in
As the sharks swim out to harm me
Your shield of protection will surround me
Through the struggle and the pain
I know my prayer is not in vain
And my God, I will know You are with me

For in all days and all seasons
And whatever comes my way
You never leave me nor forsake me
I can feel Your hand upon me
Guiding me into Your peace
Under Your wings You hide me
Safe from all danger You keep me
Into Your presence You lead me
As you refine me through fire
I will know You are with me

My God, You are always with me